I’ve got news!  I have officially decided to start fresh with this thing and actually update frequently.  I can’t believe the last time I even posted an entry was months and months ago.  Ah, well.  Life gets busy and I’m not going to lie.  I’m more of a pen to paper kind of gal.  Once I give myself the chance to begin this again, though, I know I can stick with it.

Let me tell you this.  October has arrived and it definitely felt like Fall today.  Just the smell that was in the air, the beautiful orange and yellow leaves on the trees, and the feel of the chilled air biting at my cheeks as I walked into my college left me feeling content and happy.  I was in a good mood for the complete rest of the day.  There’s no doubt about it.  There were things that could have changed that, too.  But I held my head up high and didn’t let them even get near me.  Autumn is my favorite season.  I swear it’s not just because it’s my birthday month!  (That saying I’ll be 20 in 21 days…holy crap.)  I still feel like high school has just ended in a weird way, yet I feel so far away from all of that…almost like it was in another lifetime.  Time.  It’s definitely a weird thing to try and wrap your mind around.

I hope life has been treating you equally as well.  Just for the record, I’m listening to the fucking best mixed tape, ever.  As much as I keep saying that I’m sick of how much of a worldwide phenomenon Twilight has become and how all of these LG’s are so in love with it.  I’m caught up with it, too.  I love how you can randomly download a Playlist through a zip file (already prepared no less) made personally from a person you’ve never and probably will never meet.  The generation I am very much a part of is pretty freaking incredible.

I’ll be back at this tomorrow, same place, perhaps a different time, same me.
Stay you.  “That’s the toughest thing to do.”

I can’t believe it!  It’s been two months since my last post.  I promise starting tomorrow I will actually try to keep this thing updated more frequently.  One of my New Year’s resolutions was to write more and make a habit of blogging and writing as often as I can.

I promise!

Happy 2009, by the way!

I know I haven’t posted here since…September?  Holy.

That’s going to change today, I promise.  I am keeping another journal, where pen and paper actually meet and so I’m trying my hardest to keep up my love of writing.  I sort of gave it up for too long and I’m desperately missing it and wanting it to intertwine with my life again.

Our small Christmas tree is up already and it’s hard to tear my eyes away from it’s beautiful white lights.  I can’t wait until we put up the bigger one together and string more lights around the house inside and out.  I really love this time of year.  The boring and long month of November is finally over with and we can stop our moping and get completely comfortable with what’s coming up around the corner.

Hence the song, I saw the movie and I’m left so confused why so many Twilight fans were disappointed.  I did not have high expectations when I first walked in and I’ll admit I wished they had of used a particular favorite scene of mine from the book, but overall I think they did an excellent job with the delivery.  I confess how caught up I got in it all.  Along with the original written work of art, the movie, in it’s own special way, swept me away and left me just as breathless.  Rob and Kristen were just perfect.

These lyrics especially really hit home for some odd reason:

I feel unhappy
I am so sad
I lost the best friend
That I’ve ever had

I haven’t even really lost a best friend recently…technically, anyway.  Hmm.

Today was my first day back into the swing of things!  I’ve officially started my second year of college!  I must say…where on Earth did the summer go?  It truly ended with a bang…I didn’t see it coming at all!  All of a sudden it was the last week of August and I just felt numb…letting time do it’s thing.  My Dad says that with every year, it’ll go by that much quicker.  Time.  It’s a funny thing, really – isn’t it?  I just adore Autumn, though and I’m actually relieved it’s back again.  I was born in October so I think that’s why I love it so much.  It runs through my veins.  The season seems to provide me with a enormous amount of comfort…school, bundling up, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, a fresh start…

Or maybe it’s because I remember the times when I was little…how carefree I used to be and how there was absolutely nothing to worry about.  I had not a care in the world.  I miss that feeling.  Now I care about everything…a little too much sometimes.

This morning started out to be quite a stressful day as I had a lot of school things to sort out but as soon as mid-afternoon hit and I had a class, I began to feel more at ease.  Astronomy, I really wanted to take but was not neither enrolled in or on the waitlist for was at 2:30 and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to take it.  But everything worked out in the end, just like my Mom said it would.  It’s true – I worry way way way too much for my own good.  I’m secretly afraid I gave myself hives today just from over-stressing.  Seriously.  Once I was settled in Astronomy class next to two people I knew, I looked down and realized my two index fingers had swollen up.  But of course I blamed it on the *Raspberry* Passion Tea Lemonade I had picked up from Starbucks shortly before.  I still don’t know…

I had work after school which I wasn’t too excited about obviously earlier in the day.  By the time my class had ended, though I really didn’t mind.  I enjoyed the class so much, the time flew by way quicker then I could have imagined.  That’s a good thing.  A real good thing.  The teacher is really good.  I hate those days where you keep looking at the clock, and only minutes pass.  Luckily, I got to work with one of my favorite staff members tonight so that made the night way more bearable.  My manager’s wife even insisted to let me go home early just because I had school in the morning.  Thank you, Velma!

I’m happy that I had a better end to the day then it started out to be.  I came home and watched the last half hour of this new show on the CW called 90210.  It was really addicting…I wish I had’ve gotten home earlier to watch it from the start.  I watched a favorite show afterwards, though on Family Channel which I can’t get enough of – Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide.  Ok.  I know it’s a kid’s show and it’s on the freakin’ Family Channel.  I don’t care.  It’s amazing.  Call me a nerd, whatever you want.

I’ve decided that I’m going to make tomorrow a great day!  No matter what.  Attitudes, moods, anything I’m simply not going to let get in the way.  I’m going to get into the practice of being the best version of myself.

Why not give it a shot, right?

What have I got to lose?

I saw my first shooting star; I looked over at her, and she was looking over at me to see if I had seen it.  We saw it at exact same time and she immediately told me to make a wish.  Closing my eyes, relishing this surreal and rare moment, I did.  When we thought it was over, that this was the only one we’d ever see - they just kept coming…we saw a total of 20 within 40 minutes and it was nothing less then amazing.

A meteor shower on Monday, August 11th, 2008.  We were lying on the field at Fireman’s Park, completely in a trance.  Meanwhile, Coldplay’s new album was blasting through my headphones connected to my iPod.  We waited, not moving an inch until we saw 20.  We laughed as whenever Viva la Vida played, the sky seemed to blast more shooting stars for our eyes delight then when the other songs had played.

Who knew such a meaningful, yet serious conversation about a terribly heartbreaking memory could bring on such a memorable moment?

It was seriously the coolest thing I had ever witnessed in my entire life at eighteen years old.  After we saw the first shooting star which made us gasp, a single tear made it’s way across my temple and I closed my eyes and made my wish.  My friend told me that she thought it was a sign that everything would turn out alright.  She knew it.

And I believed her.  I just had to.  It was the the only thing I had left, a turning point where I could begin to move on wtih my life.

Finally.

I will never forget this day.